Quote of the Week: Miasma of Hipness

"Order a Heineken in Portland or San Francisco--or just about anywhere, these days--and be prepared to be sneered at by some locavore beer-nerd, all too happy to tell you about some hoppy, malty, microbrewed concoction, redolent of strawberries and patchouli, that they're making in a cellar nearby. Unless, of course, you opt for post-ironic retro--in which case, that 'silo' of PBR will come with a cover charge and an asphyxiating miasma of hipness."


--Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw

Food Porn

“The human body reacts in very similar ways when anticipating food and sex. Capillaries swell, lips and membranes become engorged, saliva thickens, and the pulse rises. It’s no accident that the two pleasures have become confused.”

–Anthony Bourdain 

Food and sex so easily go hand in hand. The desire for sex can be likened to one’s appetite for food. The acts of eating and sex both cause pleasure, but one can only be temporarily satiated. After the immediate satisfaction of a decadent meal or delicious orgasm, eventually you’re going to want more.

But somehow the enjoyment of food is not only a first person experience but has developed into a form of voyeurism. And when participating in a voyeuristic activity, it somehow seems less dirty to watch people eating on screen than to watch them screwing. Rather than watching sex porn and getting ideas for new sexual positions, instead we read about or watch people engage with food and get new ideas for the kitchen.

Food porn, as Bourdain defines it, is “the vicarious enjoyment of people doing things on screen or in books that you yourself are not likely to be doing anytime soon.” It can be people reading or writing about food in substitute of sex. It can be looking at sensual pictures of food or watching people on television cook, eat, and talk about food that you’re probably never going to eat or experience. Either way, food and sex meld together into one beautiful entity.

Perhaps we enjoy reading about and watching others enjoy food because we know that good food can often lead to good sex. Many foods that are considered aphrodisiacs have been proven to prime the body for sex, such as oysters and dark chocolate (two of my favorite foods by the way). And this is nothing new. History brims with the recognition of connections between food and sex.

Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony John Winthrop, writing in the early seventeenth century, wrote that “finding that the variety of meates drawes me on to eate more than standeth with my healthe, I have resolved not to eate of more then 2 dishes at any one meale, whither fish, flesh, fowle or fruit or whittmeat etc.” Because Winthrop found himself tempted to continue in pleasures of the flesh after a large meal he attempted to approach each meal with moderation. But what were the pleasures of the flesh that tempted him afterward? A good Puritan wouldn’t have written explicitly about sex, even in a personal journal, but it doesn’t take a big leap of the imagination to surmise what would be going on in the bedroom after Winthrop bolstered himself with a variety of meats.

Similarly, this scene from the film adaptation of Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones, written in 1749, shows how the enjoyment of food can quickly lead to sex:
 

Bringing it up to the modern day, we have an entire television network devoted just to food, and now several other networks have food-themed shows. The Food Network takes attractive (think Giada De Laurentiis) people and places them in shiny, perfect kitchens, provides them with props and toys (I mean utensils), and gives them a plethora of ingredients that they can do whatever they want with. While the cook prepares the food a series of up-close shots usually occur—yeah, get a shot of that ruby red meat, luscious strawberries, or sensual whipped cream. After it’s all prepared, here comes the climax. The excited cook raises a fork to his or her mouth, gushes with pleasure, perhaps even gives a little groan, and consumes the food. Oh yeah…that’s heavenly, she might exclaim, unable to control herself as her cheeks flush, eyes close, and a smile spreads across her face. It’s kind of a surprise there’s no bow-chica-bow-wow music in the background. 

Is this preoccupation with food reflective of our particular culture or is it just a part of human nature to seek out pleasure? Perhaps it is quite normal for people to seek out pleasure, but it manifests in our culture, not to be promiscuous but to eat and drink well. And when we can’t, we can turn to shows or writings on food to fill our appetite.

As someone who writes several times a week about food, it makes me wonder if my blog is nothing more than food porn. And if this blog is truly an exercise in food porn…does that make me a porn star?

Sublime Moments

"For me, the cooking life has been a long love affair, with moments both sublime and ridiculous."

--Anthony Bourdain

If You Could Have a ____ with Anyone, Who Would it Be?

Last night while I neared the end of Anthony Bourdain’s The Nasty Bits I began to ponder what it would be like to meet him. I would be walking down the streets of New York City with no particular destination in mind, and then he would appear—just standing on the sidewalk. “Tony!” I would call out as though we were old friends, running up to him to introduce himself. He would look to me and smile. After becoming enamored by my charming personality he would of course accept my offer to grab a pint at some local dive. I would select something like Guinness—rich, dark and smooth, savoring every sip as we chatted about life, traveling, and food. Because if there’s anyone I’d like to have a beer with, it’s Anthony Bourdain.

So this whole fantasy got me thinking—well, yes, I’d like to sit down and have a beer with Bourdain, but what if it was a cup of tea? a glass of wine? a mug of coffee? a taste of sake? a classic cocktail? And that got my mind and stomach rolling in a whole new direction.

Let’s start with tea. First, I think I need to break this down into two varieties—green and black. Both types of tea evoke different experiences and hence different ideal companions. 

Green tea I associate with Asia and Buddhism, and therefore my childhood. When I was in third grade my teacher had the class select the three people, alive or dead, who we wanted to meet—Buddha was definitely on my list, so let’s leave him there with our beverage of choice as green tea. Or if he’s not available I’ll go with Isabella Stewart Gardener, so long as we drink the tea during one her wacky Japanese tea ceremonies in Boston during the Gilded Age.

For black tea it’s George Orwell all the way. Ever since I read his essay “A Nice Cup of Tea” I’ve always associated Orwell with this drink. We would sit in and English garden and follow his eleven points for making the perfect cup, carrying on a nice chat about whatever someone like Orwell likes to talk about.

Wine is also an easy choice—Ernest Hemingway. Hem and me would sit in the heat of a Spanish summer and quaff red wine from wine skins with abandon. It would be very The Sun Also Rises, sans the whole impotency thing.

F. Scott Fitzgerald should be on this list somewhere, but what would we drink? Probably anything.

My cocktail of choice is a martini made with Bombay Sapphire gin served slightly dry, straight up, and with olives. There’s only one companion for a drink like that—Humphrey Bogart. Well, either Bogie or Blair Waldorf, depending on the topic of conversation and whether or not fictional characters are allowed.

For sake I’d like to be in beautiful Kyoto with Iron Chef Morimoto. We might not be able to communicate much, but we would sip on our Japanese rice wine as he prepared clean and fresh traditional sushi.

Then there’s coffee, but I just can’t seem to decide…There’s no individual who particularly screams coffee for me right now, so I’ll have to keep pondering that one.

We’ve all got those people in the world we’d like to meet, but under what circumstances and over what drinks? The people on the list don’t have to be ones you admire the most or even find particularly interesting—they should just be the people you feel most suited to consume a particular beverage with. So, if you could sit down and have a ____ with anyone, who would it be?

No Reservations in the Hudson Valley

For all you proud people of the Hudson Valley who love food and Anthony Bourdain but happened to miss his recent feature in this area, I’m posting the entire show courtesy of Youtube.

Join the infamous Tony as he travels up the Hudson and enjoys a hotdog delivered by boat and dines on freshly caught crabs in Verplanck overshadowed by Indian Point. Then it’s off to the Polish town of Pine Island in the Black Dirt region of New York where he eats traditional foods like kielbasa and perogies and drinks bathtub red vodka provided by someone in a parking lot. Next Tony heads to his alma mater, the Culinary Institute of America, to cook a meal in the kitchen with his friend and former judge on Iron Chef, Michael Ruhlman. After his visit to the CIA, Tony and Michael heads to the Rondout Bay Marina Bay Bar in Kingston for a few beers with the locals.

Then it’s off to Mohonk Mountainhouse, one of the premier spots in New Paltz, my own alma mater. He takes the approach of the oft-cited legend that Mohonk was the inspiration for Stephen King’s The Shining, and gives a brief but interesting history of the hotel. Although his creepy Shining-esque experience of Mohonk differs greatly from my own experiences of hiking and swimming with friends, it was still highly entertaining to watch him take afternoon tea as though it symbolized his descent into evil. Classic Bourdain.

Next comes my favorite part of the show—a backyard asian bbq with an instructor from the CIA when an amazing ten-year-old girl completely schools Bourdain like nobody’s seen before.

The dialogue went as follows:

Sierra: “For Christmas my dad got me a college neurology textbook.”

Tony: “Why?”

Sierra: “Because I wanted one.”

Tony: “Why?”

Sierra: “Because I went through a phase when I wanted to be a neurologist. Microbiology and nanotechnology is very fun.”

Tony: “You’re like the smartest person I’ve ever talked to on this show. How old are you?”

Sierra: “Ten.”

Tony: “You ought to work for this show, I’m telling you, you work harder than me and you know more than me. But it’s hard also.” [Sierra looks skeptically at Tony] “You’re not buying that are you? No.”

Sierra: “Ah, yes, sit on a plane for 18 hours in first class eating chicken and prime rib, and then going to foreign countries and walking around and eating great food and buying souvenirs. Oh yeah, that’s got to be a really tough job.”

Wow. Simply amazing. By the end of the show they’re taking turn swinging on Sierra’s rope swing, but you’ve still got to be amazed by the straight-forward words coming out of this girl’s mouth on national television. The whole meal is perfect, especially when the CIA instructor (Sierra’s father) says “If you’re going to live on the east cost, you’ve got to live in New Paltz.”

After New Paltz, a town where I do believe Bourdain should spend an entire show, he heads to X20 in Yonkers, where he dines with none other than Bill Murray. What’s best about this scene is that Tony admits is a totally spontaneous event—he’d never even met Bill Murray before in his life. And you can just read the awe and respect for Murray in Tony’s eyes throughout the meal. The meal seemed simply amazing as well.

For me, watching Anthony Bourdain in the Hudson Valley was the first time I watched his show and really didn’t care about the food he ate. It was amazing to watch him in a location not where I longed to be or had already visited, but to see him in a place I knew so well—to watch him discover an area that I’d already invested years of my life into. Overall, it was deeply satisfying and exciting to watch him travel around one of the best places in New York—the Hudson Valley.

If you feel any connection to the Hudson Valley, this show is definitely something you don’t want to miss. And for all you New Paltzians, well, apparently Bourdain dined at Mexicali Blue and had some fish tacos. They didn’t make it onto the show, but some lucky student at SUNY New Paltz did happen to catch him outside and interviewed him for the Oracle as he enjoyed their delicious fresh food.

Enjoy the show!

Perfection in a French Fry

What’s better than lying on a beach in Hawaii? Nothing. But what comes in at a close second? Sitting in the shade after enjoying hours of surf, sand, and sun and enjoying hot, crispy French fries. Travel back with me two-and-a-half weeks ago to Wednesday, January 13, where I find myself sitting at a little snack bar on Waikiki Beach. My boyfriend will be arriving on the island within the next couple of hours, so I don’t want to get much to eat since he’ll probably be hungry getting off the plane. A snack of French fries seems perfect.

And they are perfect for this moment. They are deliciously crunchy outside and soft and warm inside—bare except for oil and salt that mixes with the taste of sea salt on my lips from swimming in the glorious Pacific Ocean. I’ve just finished reading Anthony Bourdain’s A Cook’s Tour on the beach, and the words of this book fit right in with my experience. Bourdain travels around the world seeking out the “perfect meal,” but in the final chapter he comes to see that the perfect meal does not exist—that “the whole concept of the ‘perfect meal’ is ludicrous. ‘Perfect,’ like ‘happy,’ tends to sneak up on you. Once you find it…it’s gone. It’s a fleeting thing, ‘perfect,’ and…it’s often better in retrospect.”

The perfect meal can depend so much on context and memory, but right now, these fries seem perfect. It's not so much that the taste of the fries is extraordinary, but that every crisp bite and burst of salt is a reminder that I’m in Hawaii, that I’m more relaxed than perhaps ever before in my life. There’s just the beach, happy people all around, and French fries—perfect. And I’ve got a feeling that the rest of the day is about to be perfect, and the day after that, and the day after that…

Quote of the Week: Truly Great Meals

“Context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one’s life.”

—Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain in Hawaii

If you’re ever preparing for travels around the world, you might want to ask yourself “what would Anthony Bourdain do?” He’s traveled to so many places around this great planet, and while thinking about my imminent trip to Hawaii I remembered that yes, Bourdain has already been there. A quick search on YouTube provided the five parts of his show in Hawaii, and I’ve posted them here for your viewing pleasure. While I won’t make it to most of the destinations featured on the show, it’s always great to get Bourdain’s perspective on a place, with his dry sense of humor and honest thoughts on a location’s culture, food, and people.

In part one of five, Bourdain arrives, purchases a Hawaiian shirt, and shares his thoughts on Jimmy Buffet, remarking “Anywhere I go, anywhere there’s a palm tree or a ski slope, Jimmy Buffet’s been there first…I hear that damn Lost in Margaritaville song in every good bar in the world. He’s personally ruined my life.” Then he tries a puka dog, which I will definitely be checking out as there is a puka dog shop about ten minutes walking distance from my hotel. Bourdain then sits down to a meal at Ono’s Hawaiian Food with a friend.

Part two features the end of the meal at Ono’s, where his friend discusses how Hawaiian food came to be. Then Bourdain meets with some of the greatest chefs in Hawaii who all congregate at the Side Street Inn for a delicious meal. One guest is Alan Wong, a revered chef whose restaurant I am dying to try during my trip. Next it’s on to the North Shore of Oahu, where he meets with surfer Derek Donner. As Donner explains surfing to Bourdain, he remarks “You can gain a lot of knowledge, or you can run for your life.” They also share a meal at the house of Peter Cole, a surfing legend who started surfing at the North Shore in the 1950s and still continues to this day.

In part three they finish up lunch and then Bourdain is off to try some Spam at the Uptown Fountain. In Hawaii Spam is still very popular, and the islands consume up to four million cans of Spam a year. Among the many Spam delicacies are items like Spam sushi, which features Spam and fried rice wrapped in seaweed. According to Bourdain, it’s delicious. Tiki drinks with Don the Beach Comber at La Mariana come next as Bourdain indulges in Mai Tais and Zombies. Then Bourdain is invited to a backyard luau in a working-class neighborhood in Honolulu where he gets to try local, home-made food.

Part four brings Bourdain to the eastern edge of the Big Island of Hawaii, where the most active volcano in the world, Kilauea, has completely destroyed a once thriving neighborhood. Only one man remains—Jack Thompson, who shares a plate lunch with Bourdain at his home. As they look around the desolate landscape, Bourdain dryly asks “No Starbucks here? I was hoping for a mochaccino.”

The final part of the show features Bourdain embracing Hawaiian tourism at its best—the pre-packaged luau. I was glad to see that Bourdain seemed to truly enjoy the whole spectacle as I’m planning to visit one such luau on my final night in Oahu. Enjoy the show!

Quote of the Week: Bourdain on Garlic

"Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime. Old garlic, burnt garlic, garlic cut too long ago and garlic that has been tragically smashed through one of those abominations, the garlic press, are all disgusting. Please treat your garlic with respect. Sliver it for pasta, like you saw in Goodfellas; don't burn it. Smash it, with the flat of your knife blade if you like, but don't put it through a press. I don't know what that junk is that squeezes out the end of those things, but it ain't garlic. And try roasting garlic. It gets mellower and sweeter if you roast it whole, still on the clove, to be squeezed out later when it's soft and brown. Nothing will permeate your food more irrevocably and irreparably than burnt or rancid garlic. Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screw-top jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don't deserve to eat garlic."

—Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

Street Food: Because There’s Nothing Quite Like Meat-On-A-Stick!

Anthony Bourdain’s recent special on No Reservations featuring street food from around the world raises a good point—street food is some of the best food out there! And from kebabs in Greece to corndogs at American county fairs, it seems that the street foods of most cultures involve some array of meat on sticks. There’s just something about a pointed piece of wood or metal impaling various meats that are coated in spices and grilled that makes people stop wherever they are and buy food of unknown origins from strangers.

Cities are definitely the place for street food. Simply taking a stroll down any New York City avenue yields a plethora of scents that titillate the mind and stomach. If Bourdain is correct, and he usually is, then the best way to experience a city is through the food from the street. A New York City hotdog could make any tourist write home to friends and family about how he “really” experienced the Big Apple, not while at the top of the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty, but when he bit into that tube of mystery meat with a squeeze of mustard as he watched a bum doze off by the nearby subway entrance. Ah, the city!

The first step is to get over any fear of what is going on inside those dirty carts. (Note: If you want to get over any qualms regarding where your food comes from or what is in it, just visit China. Seriously, even the most avid ingredient reader cannot decipher the nutritional labels on packaged foods, and once you watch women chopping cabbages on the sidewalk outside a restaurant you often eat at, all your fears will go out the window—especially when you realize that small children urinate and defecate on that same sidewalk.) The second step is, of course, to just try what’s available. Luckily, street food is usually inexpensive, so even a disappointing dish is not too much of a waste.

Despite the lax health codes, the best street food I ever experienced was in Chengdu in Sichuan Province, China. It was not meat-on-a-stick, and I can’t identify precisely what the food consisted of or what it was called, but I admit that I’ve dreamt of it more than once. It can best be described as a thin, crepe-like pancake that was savory, salty, and filled with scallions. The batter was spread thin on a hot griddle in large sheets until it sizzled. Then it was flipped, folded, cut, and placed in a plastic bag for easy take away. After one bite I wanted to eat the whole thing—unfortunately, there were two friends with me at the time. What was this mysterious pancake, and will I ever experience it again? I tried a “scallion pancake” at a fusion restaurant, but it was thick, dry, and could not compare to that magical street food moment…

So what about you? Any interesting street food stories out there to share? Any great experiences with meat-on-a-stick or unlicensed food carts?