Meet Patrick. Pat likes to keep food in his pocket. A normal person might keep a treat like a piece of candy or gum in his or her pocket, but not Pat. Oh no, Patrick’s pocket food is kind of extreme. Extreme pocket food.
Case No. 1: In early May I was sitting on my computer looking at Facebook. In the News Feed I saw my sister’s status update. It read, “‘Oh man, I keep doing that.’ –Patrick (as he pulls old string cheese out of his pocket).”
And the responses?
Patrick: “It’s not an isolated string cheese incident…”
Sonya: “Pat’s response- ‘It could happen to anyone!” No Pat… it doesn’t happen to people who DON’T put cheese in their pocket.”
I was, of course, amused by this occurrence but didn’t think much of it. Just Pat being Pat, I guess. But it didn’t end there…
Case No. 2: A couple of weeks after the pocket cheese incident I visited Sonya and Pat in Maine. Within the first 24 hours Pat reached into his pocket, and what did he pull out? String cheese. Old string cheese at that—warm, mushy, weird string cheese.
“Ahh, I totally forgot about that!” he exclaimed.
When I questioned why he puts string cheese in his pocket in the first place he informed me that, “You know, sometimes you just need a snack.”
But wait, that’s not it…
Case No. 3: It’s early August and I’m in Maine again. The first night was great—we went out and about on the town and lived it up. The next morning Pat walked into the kitchen and suddenly made a loud, exasperated “Oh man, how long has this been here? Ugh.”
“What?” I questioned.
“I just pulled bacon out of my pocket,” he replied. “I haven’t worn these pants in months.”
And then he proceeded to show me the weird old bacon that had been living in his pants for who knows how long.
When I questioned Pat about his choice of pocket food he said, “Pocket bacon is for Maddy…usually.” Maddy is his dog, but I’m guessing that Pat likes to chew on some pocket bacon from time to time as well.
And I just have to wonder, if I’ve been witness to this forgotten pocket food three times in the last three months and I don’t see Pat that much, how often does it happen when I’m not around?
Is this a normal thing? Are there other extreme pocket foodies out there? If so, what do they keep in their pockets and do they ever remember to actually eat it?
I for one will be investing in lots of string cheese and bacon—it sure beats gum.